The Second Time My Wife Died

3 10 2007

My other blog much more adequately addresses the trials and travails my wife and I have been through this past year.  But there are several things that stay sharply at the front of my mind.  During her long hospitalization, Barbara’s heart stopped once, and her breathing stopped another time.  And each time she was brought back.  Later, she was within a hair’s breadth of leaving due to extreme malnutrition.  It’s all a long, involved story.  There were more tears shed than I care to remember.  There was that meal that I couldn’t eat because I just couldn’t make myself stop crying.

Today, Barbara is home with me and is accomplishing more in her rehab than any doctor or nurse ever predicted that she would.  In fact, in the early months, even the doctor who was one of the most optimistic had given up hope on her survival.  But this retelling of our story isn’t about her healing process.  It’s about mine.

I have no idea how many people prayed for us in those darkest of days.  I can’t begin to detail the network of churches, family and friends around the country…  and even oversees…  who lifted fervent prayers on our behalf.  And something happened.  A wonderful peace came over me, a peace that defies explanation.  A peace that clearly came from my Father in Heaven.  A marvelous strength grew within, a strength that I could never have found on my own. 

That strength became something more than an emotional strength.  Our daughter was married on Memorial Day weekend, and it was an event that spurred my wife on to recovery.  Impossibility gave way to possibility as Barbara, still very incapacitated from her long, long hospitalization, was able to attend the wedding. 

I have spent many years learning how to pray.  This past year I learned how to pray BIG.  The prayers recorded in the Bible are seldom gentile little sweet supplications.  Once has to only go so far as the “Lord’s Prayer” to see that the one we follow has BIG things in mind for us.  God’s will done on earth just as it is in Heaven?  That couldn’t happen, could it?

 Sometimes my heart is saddened that eyes are closed and hearts are hardened to the revealed Truth of the Gospel all around us.  I tend to think it’s a lost cause.  Then I remember what God did in the days we walked through death valley.  I remember what I learned about praying BIG.  And I pray.




One response

4 10 2007


Although I do not share your faith
I still want to say congratulations…


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